Gwyneth Paltrow enters the courtroom for her trial in Park City, Utah. (Photo: Rick Bowmer-Pool/Getty Images)
Literal alien superstar: this week, a former Air Force intelligence officer has confirmed that aliens are real. On Wednesday, retired Maj. David Grusch testified to a House Oversight subcommittee that the government has been aware of “nonhuman” space activity since the 1930s, the AP reported.
Aliens? Real? Katy Cats knew! Beyond any larger ramifications of this news, I can only think of the immediate question: If we have to choose someone to meet the aliens, like if there’s a need for one single emissary from earth to meet the aliens, to bravely go where no one has gone before who should it be? Gwyneth Paltrow, of course.
In my vast experience of falling asleep during every space movie I have ever watched (with the exception of Alien, thank you Yaphet Kotto) and my extensive history of loving the Katy Perry song “ET” for all of its 13 years, I can wholeheartedly and confidently offer this reasoning: I think it would be funny.
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